Spring....

Ahhhh......breathing in the fresh Spring air!!!

It is such a beautiful sunny, warm weekend in E-town. I have the windows in the house open, nice quiet breeze coming through. The dog is outside playing in the yard, enjoying the fresh air (really I'm trying to tire him out hehe), I am inside cleaning.

I went for a hair cut this morning, and I got it shorter then last time and love it. Next time around I will get my color done, but debating if I want to grow it out a little longer, will see.

I was down 3 lbs yesterday of the 5 I had gained. Nice, but I can't wait to get it all off and then continue on more. I really am trying not to stress about it, it's hard not too, but trying is all I can do and just take it day by day. I am looking forward to wearing summer clothes and want to look good in them.

Not much else going on this weekend, just relaxing and just putzing around the house.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Bella ♥

Goals

Ahhhh, it's Sunday. Lovely Sunday. I slept in till 9 am, wow it's been a while since I've done that. I woke up made breakfast which was coffee, raspberry banana smoothie (I used almond tofu dessert in it for protein very tasty) and a smart one breakfast qusadila. total 10 pts, not bad I guess.

Lunch will be salad with sandwich and tons of water through out the day. Supper is roast beef, baby potatoes or rice, broccoli/califlower with cheese sauce. FF Neapoleon ice cream with raspberries. Mmmmm

My goals for this week will be, limit my self to computer usage in the evening to only 1-2 hrs (going to be tough since it's allllways on infront of me while I watch tv. What will I do rather then sitting in front of the tv or computer??? hmmm, well I could do stuff around the house, slowly go through my cupboards and get rid of stuff that has been in there for who knows how long, go for longer walks in the evening, do some yard work.....I have LOTS I can do rather then wasting it away.

Wish me luck! : P

Bella

Giving my head a shake........

I woke up crazy early this morning (6:30am), showered, did my hair, put my face on, took Marley for a early morning walk, then on I went to Walmart. I went to the newest one in SW Edmonton, lovely store, quiet and never busy no matter what time you go. I loaded up my cart with veggies and healthy choices. NO junk got in my cart.

While shopping I was thinking to my self, why am I being so hard on my self? Why do I give up so easily when I am doing so well? How much money I can save if I don't buy those chips, chocolates, candy??

I've come to the conclusion that I DO deserve to be happy, deserve to be comfortable in my own skin, deserve every good thing that happens to me. Nothing huge has happened to me yet, but I have my own goals to work on, and starting from the moment I am working to towards being happy about my self again. I am tired of going on this weight/mental roller coaster. I don't know why I stop, but all I know is that I have to just give it all I have, because I've come so far already and don't want that weight back on.

Spring is here, what's too look forward too? Gardening, yard work, and walks and more walks and just getting active this year. I am not going to sit around in the house anymore, getting out side and just doing something.

Tonights supper is half a panini bread pizza I made and broccoli slaw and a XL Tim's coffee. YUM!!! The weekend is almost over, tomorrow will be another early rising day, planning my meals for the week, laundry, cleaning, going for a couple walks and a trip to buy new yoga pants

Smooches

Bella ♥

F.A.I.L.U.R.E.

That's all I got.




Bella.

What NOT to do.....

I am proof of that, what not to do, not inspiring blah blah blah.........

I stepped on the scale this morning and shows I've gained 5 lbs. I guess I will have to take that, not sure if it's cause I'm dehydrated or if it's just the shitty food I've consumed in the past few days, weeks whatever but the scale never lies right? FFS.

Meh. I'm stressed out with weight loss, the whole thing is on my mind 24/7, I don't know what to do, I can't get my head in the right place to figure out what I need to do. I guess maybe actually not eating crap foods here and there doesn't help, but I haven't been bingeing or anything, just the wrong choices??? I don't know exactly.

I think I need to take a step back and just not think about it. Don't let it take over me. I am driving my self nuts with thinking about it, and talking about it. Trying this, trying that, it's driving me insane. Probably why I am having sleeping issues again. This is taking over my mind.

Work is the shits as well, soooo not happy where I am. I am going to stay where I am work wise till at least after August, there are no jobs out there right now, so hopefully when I plan to leave there will be work somewhere else.

OR.......I can just up and move?? : P But, that's not realistic right now, maybe in a year or so, but not right now.

I am just blabbing right now, so here is to my shitty day.

The only good part of my day is I am going for brunch to a friends house, and it will be lovely to catch up with her. ♥

Bella

Woke up on the right side of the bed

this morning. Fresh new morning, Sunday, lovely Sunday morning. Was up before the birds, not a soul on the roads and went for groceries.

I got a bunch of fresh veggies, nice LF cheeses, yougrt and a new SCALE!!! Hopefully this scale will be better then my old crapper one that was giving me insane WIs. It's a nice pretty glass one from Superstore $30 and digital.

I am going to be dedicated this week, I gotta get back to where I was mind wise. I am sounding like a broken record, but seriously I realized that how easy it is to go back to my old ways. Chips, chocolate, candy and just junk has filled my stomach more often in the last few weeks then it should have. I gotta train my body again to not want that stuff and live with out it (although a small cheat here and there will happen, I'm not going to lie).

This weeks goals: get all my water in (been slacking lately), go for my walks in the evening (with the time change next week there will be more day light, which is great), don't give into old habits and think postive and get the negative thoughts out of my head.

So there you have it folks, back on track 100%. If I am negative at any point on this blog, give me a kick in the ass! :P

Smooches

Bella ♥

I've been thinking.....

Why not just let things slide, don't dwell on things that I can't change or make happen? Somethings just take time to change or to make happen, why stress about them?

Diet has been sucking lately, just seems to have stalled. That happens, it's part of life, bumps, road blocks, mind changes make that happen. I am focused on what I need to eat, the little devil sitting on my shoulder screams "cake, chocolate, candy, fries" and the angel on my other shoulder screams "come on bitch keep focused" (not so sweet angel, but I like bitchy angels). I listen to both, they make me sane. The other voices, well they are just there and those I don't listen too. (Yes there are other voices, strange? Maybe not :P)

In the next year or so, depending on my finianical state I hope to make a major change, big life decision and move. Move away from Edmonton, maybe temperarily just to get away from here, and if I like living where I will go, I just may never come back. There is nothing holding me here, nothing at all. I need that change, I've been talking and thinking about it for a couple years now, and I realized that is what I need to do. I am ready to do it, just the pocket book isn't good and of course jobs as well. There is a course I want to take, I am saving up for it, and being on ther west coast (where I want to be) will benefit me taking this course.

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It's Saturday, beautiful sunny 9 degree day. I love Spring, the snow melting, the birds chirping, hearing music from homes and cars with their windows open. The clear blue Alberta sky is a wodnerful thing, and this city is a great place to go out and do things. Marley and I are going to go for a long walk this morning. I've been slacking on the walking this past week, so gotta catch up on it. Hopefully no one will yell at me while we are walking lol Had a great experience last weekend with that.

My weekend is going to be quiet, no real plans, just enjoy my time off work and relax mostly.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Smooches

Bella ♥

Blarg.

I am doing fine eating wise and sticking too things. What I'm not doing well at is, my emotions and shitty feelings. I am feeling down off and on, I am feeling alone, happy but not.....just not feeling like I was a few weeks ago. Not sure why, just can't seem to shake it.

Not knowing why is the frustrating thing. I don't really have anything to be sad about, if anything I should be happy. sigh.

Anyway, just kind putting my thoughts out there and don't really have anything to say.

Bella ♥