Self sabotage

That was me this morning.

I had to go for blood work, so I had to fast for 12 hrs. I never went till 10:30, so by that time I was hungry. My emotions and hormones have been out of wack for the past few days.

I go to Superstore I got veggies, lean meats, some fruit and go down the cracker isle and pick up a small box of PC chocolate covered short bread cookies. Yup. I never even hesitated, never felt bad, didn't feel anything at all. I get in my car, open the box and eat 2 before I even leave the fricken parking lot. I proceed to drive home and have 3 more (half the box) at this point, then my stomach starts aching and making strange noises. It's yelling at me, I know it is.

I text a friend to tell what just occured and she advised to throw them out and go on a walk, NOW. I put them in the garbage, took the bag outside, come in the house and sit on my kitchen step and cry. Holy breakdown batman. Shortly after, I put on my shoes and take Marley for a long walk.

Now, this is the first time in 3 months I have had a binge like this. It tastes sooo good, but I felt like a huge pig after. Why did I do it? Cause I wanted to and I didn't give a shit at the time. Will I do it again? Probably, but not anytime soon.....I won't lie.

So, here is what I am losing weight for.......my health, to feel better, too look better, to be more confident, to just feel comfortable in my own skin. #1 reason.......to be slim for once in my life.

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I am leaving for New Orleans on Wednesday, so I probably won't get to blog before I leave. I weigh in tomorrow rather then Wedneday, so I will see if I will be in the 200s. I doubt it, but whatever. I will try stay as good as possible while on vacay. I booked reservations for Friday at Emerils restaurant, it's my dads birthday, so we figured going there and splurging will be a good idea. I CAN NOT wait to eat there!! lol I am also planning on going to have lunch at one of John Beshs restaruants there as well.

I have sooo much I want to see and do there, I only got 4 days so I will be getting in a lot of walking and site seeing. The hotel we are staying at is in the French Quater/downtown, I can't believe I'm going to fricken New Orleans!!!!!

The other half of my holiday will be spent in Arizona. My parents just bought a new place there, on 6 Acres, it's a mansion. They just moved into it last week, so this will be the first time for me seeing it on the inside. Can't wait for that, and some shopping as well and relaxation in the hot tub!

Bella ♥